I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
