If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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