I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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