'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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