dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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