ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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