I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
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I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
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It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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