I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
