If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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