Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
