these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
