just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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