He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
