If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize