Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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