Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
