She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Help. Why am I so naked?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
