guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
operation harelip BJ is a go
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
