I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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