Define "chronic" masturbator.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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