Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
