fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
