Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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