yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Me too!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
