you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize