Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
