If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
