I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He better not be in your backpack
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
