is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
