summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
