On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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