Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
