Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
