I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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