I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
