The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
it's like heaven, but drunker
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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