i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
smell my finger.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
