Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
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