and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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