Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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