He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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