the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
