She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
