Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
