I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
