I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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