Dual....:-)
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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