4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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