Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
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Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
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He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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