Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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