She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
