i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
