I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
