new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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