There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize