my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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