He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
