so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
