real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Randomize
