My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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