Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
