I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
