I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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