i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
